Recently, photos of Megan have filled the social media world, especially from free birth skeptics and doula groups that do not approve of a doula stepping out of scope to fully support all women. But did we really get the full story from a blog post that absolutely trashes any birth that occurs outside of the hospital? Did you know that the source from that article is a midwife that is well-known in the community for being completely medically minded and doesn’t actually follow the midwifery model of care, at all? The midwife is known for harassing local mom support groups that advocate for natural, home and VBAC births.
Well, we are here to shed a little light on Megan: a mother, a doula, a friend.
NOT a murderer.
By supporting anti-home birth, anti-midwife, anti-natural lifestyle bloggers, we do a massive disservice to our community, so seriously, stop sharing it. Take the story and do with it as you will, you may still feel she was in the wrong, but at least her perspective was placed out there and we are happy to be the platform to do so.
Here is the story, straight from the source.
“I was recommended to the couple by our chiropractor. They wanted a home birth and so we began our doula appointments with that in mind. I gave them every home birth resource I had and they interviewed a few midwives. It was soon after that the mother confided in me that her husband had been beating her throughout their marriage, even landing her in the hospital during the pregnancy. However, this had apparently stopped since we began meeting. I asked her several times to find a safe place to go, if not for her, for her baby’s sake. She said she felt preparing for the birth was changing him and she felt safe. So we proceeded.Â
As we began entering her due month, no midwife had yet been found. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn’t know, but there was no way they were going to the hospital. I reminded them that I was not a replacement for a midwife and I thought about recusing myself as their doula. I thought about it heavily. However, the abuse was deeply concerning and them being completely alone during the birth of their child seemed reckless. So I remained their doula.”Â
A doula, after all, is not a medical professional, but a support person, and the parents knew this, it was absolutely a decision they made on their part to not find a midwife, but to proceed with an unassisted birth with a doula.
“I confided in a doula group. At the time, I was a member, I needed their prayers and their support. I kept quiet that they did not have a midwife, since this area is very political about birth and there is one particular hospital midwife who is known for terrorizing mothers. But IÂ digress…Â
The day came when the mother began having contractions. She seemed fine, but was throwing off signs of transition right away. I went over to see her to try and figure out what was going on. It was early labor. She was concerned about finishing laundry (this was at her aunts as she did not have a washer/dryer at her house) before she could have her baby. I wondered if this could be an emotional block to labor, so I helped her finish laundry. We arrived back at her home and contractions became steadier, confirming my theory.Â
The first two days went by. I went home a few times to rest. She still felt good and contractions had not become strenuous, seeming that she was having prodromal labor. I returned the second day and as soon as I arrived, her contractions began getting harder and more intense. She felt that baby was in a posterior position so we practiced some spinning babies techniques and even filled up the birth pool to relieve pain”Â
To be clear, posterior is not a dangerous position. It is simply a variation of normal.
“The next day was steady, but by the afternoon, she was tired and he was frustrated. We finally got her comfortable enough to nap. I left for a little snooze myself and was gone for only a few hours. I was on my way back when she called me, hysterical. Her husband had tried to rape her in the middle of this bout of labor and now refused to help at all since sheÂ wouldn’t have sex with him. Her contractions became much harder as a result and she began losing faith. I sent him to the store for groceries (we kept her eating through all of this to keep her nourished). I asked her very seriously if she needed to go to the hospital. Her husbands behavior was not okay and not justifiable in any way and that she would be safe from this happening again there. She gave me the same answer as she had before.. she felt safeÂ because I was there and did not want to go to the hospital.”Â
This is so common in domestic violence victims, they do not want to get their partner’s in trouble, because they are scared for staff to find out, then to be alone or have a negative interaction with CPS, and more. And narcissists typically act well and presentable in front of others that they are not currently abusing, so it absolutely makes sense that he would act fine in front of Megan and the woman to actually be safe around Megan, otherwise, both the sweet newborn AND mama could be dead, so why should Megan have abandoned the family because they refused to transfer? And calling the police can actually be even more dangerous to everyone involved, because some abusers will go as extreme as holding those in the home hostage and abuse or even kill them before the police can get a warrant to break in and help.
“I had no idea what to do. I prayed with all my might that her baby would be born soon I stayed over that night because there was no way I was leaving her. The event had left her unwilling to do anything. She finally ate after I told her otherwise we HAD to go to the hospital because I was concerned with her paleness. Her contractions lightened and she felt she could maybe sleep. I rubbed her sacrum and had the inspiration to press and push upward right above her sacrum. As I did so, I actually felt the baby turn right under my palms. Suddenly, she felt better, contractions were manageable and she threw up. She felt she could definitely sleep now. I too, went for a nap, laid down for about half an hour when her water broke! She was happy, alert and could feel her babys head in the birth canal.
As she tried relaxing between contractions, her husbands stubble irritated her, so I took his position behind her in the pool, supporting her. He would watch for the baby. She began pushing, and in about half an hour, pushed her baby right out! Sure enough, baby was all wrapped in her cord, around her belly and shoulders. We quickly got the cord unwrapped and put her to mamas chest. She cried well, was the most beautiful shade of pink and eventually opened her eyes and looked around at everyone. She was perfect, they named her Junia.Â
I stayed, helped her to bed,Â shortly after she delivered her placenta.Â Junia nursed and seemed to beÂ doing very well. I was helping clean up and about four hours after birth, I wasÂ ready to leave and just checking in on everyone and everything.”Â
I read many critical comments about WHY was she there so long. Honestly, it is not uncommon for doulas to stay hours after birth. In my business I stay at least two to three hours following a birth, whether in the hospital or unassisted. When I am a midwifes assistant and cleaning and sterilizing everything, I am easily there three to five hours following birth. If you do not, good for you, but you should not be judging why she was.
“As I peeked at Junia, I noticed that JuniasÂ nail beds were a little purple. She was still alert and pink, so I had them cover her up more and asked if they had a babyÂ thermometer. TheyÂ didn’t, so I asked the husband to get one from Walgreens. While he was gone, her color began to change. She began to get sleepy, which I knew was normal for newborns, but this did not seem right. She was ashy, her nails were still purple. I asked mom to lay her down. The first thing I could think to do was check her heart rate. I set my ear to her chest and her heart rate was slower than an adults and as I looked at her, she seemed to fall asleep. I tried rubbing her back to rouse her. Nothing worked. I asked the mom if she knew infant CPR, she did not, so I started CPR. Right then, the husband returned and I told him to call 911. Mucus started coming out duringÂ compressions and I did use a bulb syringe in attempt to get it out. All I could think was to keep her alive until emergency services got there.Â
The paramedics got there quickly and I told them what I had been doing. They looked for a heart rate and could not find one. When the cops arrived they asked if I was a midwife and I declined. When they inquired where the midwife was, I panicked because I did not want the parents to get in trouble and advised sheÂ had left. Later on, I did tell Detective Sowards when he interviewed me and he assured me I did the right thing by telling the truth, now.Â
The nextÂ part is a massive blur for me, except I remember calling my mom and praying to God to give the hospital staff the ability to bring her back to life. I got to the hospital where they attempted to revive her for 40 minutes. At 12:01am they called the time of death. Her parents and I just stood in shock for what seemed like the longest time. Eventually they asked to be alone and I told them I would check on them tomorrow. My mom had come to the hospital and I just crumpled into a ball of tears.Â
Over the next few months, I helped her recover, look for someone to donate her milk to, held her while she cried, attended the funeral, and be as much of a support as I could. Her MIL and husband tried to have her committed for not healing fast enough, aka cleaningÂ andÂ cooking already, at just two weeks postpartum. I have texts from the mother and I that discussed things like how angry she was with me for making them take her baby to the hospital when she could have passed peacefully on her mamas chest, instead of being injected, shocked and monitored in a cold ER, or the fact that she never got to touch her baby again after I started CPR, and in a way, I stole those last touches from her.Â
IÂ couldn’t bear birth work anymore and went into a deep depression. Her family blamed me, the doula group blamed me. The local midwife I mentioned blamed me and began a smear campaign against me, saying I kill babies and am so anti-medicine that I ‘wouldn’t let them call 911.’ I even blamed me for a long time. I felt like IÂ was cursed. I had committed to one other birthÂ six months after and IÂ didn’t know how I was going to get through it.Â
It was about this time that former clients got wind of the rumors and asked me what happened. I was open with them. It was amazing. They allÂ rallied around me, telling meÂ what a difference I had made in their lives and could not quit. Then it came.. I got a call from Junias mom. She told me I should not blame myself and hoped I would become a midwife so they could have a safer birth next time. I thanked her and said I would think about it. I never really wanted to be a midwife.Â
The birth of my last client came. It was quick.Â They were from my church and so we spent a good portion of her labor in prayer. I was grateful.. it gave me peace. She gave birth quickly to a baby girl. I cried. I felt like Junia all over again, but she was healthy, thank God. I came to check on them the next day and the mom gushed that, thanks to me, it was her best birth ever (this was #9 for her) and I should become a midwife. I cried again.Â
In March, I found out I was expecting again. The flashbacks, anxiety, stress, I did not take it well. My body has not done well and I truly feared bringing Junias birth with me into my own birth. Its a part of who I am now. Im trying very hard not to let it haunt my steps.Â
I came to this area four years ago, only seeking to give women the same blessings I haveÂ been gifted with and I still believe the heart of the birth world here is good. But this particular group have been in search of control and power for years before I ever arrived. Now this has happened and its become an excuse for them to make an example of me. For a long time, I proceeded according to what I know to be right, which does not always fall in line with what they feel is proper. But I feel that to violate my moral code would be the worst infraction of all and I could never bring myself to, even at the risk of my livelihood.”
In the autopsy, the Chief Medical Examiner, Mr. Gustafon, whom came to interview Megan after he had done an autopsy stressed that the cause of death he found was unofficial but that her lungs looked like she had had severe pneumonia for at least two weeks, which was impossible at merely 6 hours old. His theory was that, the stress mama endured from abuse in the pregnancy, caused a release of meconium during pregnancy, that was somehow consumed and/or aspirated most of it by the time of delivery, which resulted in mamas waters being mostly clear, which allowed for an infection to grow turning into full blown pneumonia once exposed to oxygen. The catalyst would have been her first breath, which is why she did not have immediate respiratory issues. He guessed that a hospital may not have even known until it was too late or been able to save her, had she been born there.
In question of her status as a doula, she went through DONA training, and chose not to certify through them due to not aligning with their values and was complete with her training with Bradley Method, but was still in provisional stage of completion, not fully affiliated, which she was chastised for, which is absurd. As you can see, the provisional affiliation expired in 2015, while the second educator card did not expire until just last month, January 2019.
The parents struggled with finding a midwife because they were very conservatively Christian and many of the local midwives are Pagan/Wiccan.
In questions about the charges and why she was found guilty, “the six charges pressed against me, were about practicing medicine and not placing me at fault with the death, as so many have inferred. I pled guilty to the count citing the use of the bulb syringe because of the uncertainty and cost of the trial, unwilling to cause the parents to be subpoenaed as witnesses and because honestly, I felt it was fair and if using a bulb syringe on a baby is practicing medicine, then technically, I was guilty. I am not sorry that I tried to save her life, but I do feel that if I broke the law, I will not do anything to hide from it. I have been very upfront about what I have done wrong and on those accounts, I am sorry.”
Since, Megan and the mother of Junia have both gone on to have healthy babies.
We wanted to make this article because there are ALWAYS several sides to the story. We wanted to show that the charges did not stem from the parents blaming her, but an angry local midwife that simply does not see eye to eye with most doulas in the community, and takes it out on them whenever she gets an opportunity to do so.
Things could have absolutely been different, had the mother not been abused by a toxic male, point blank!!! So why do we not chastise domestic violence in the articles that bash Megan so harshly?
Domestic violence is the NUMBER ONE killer of pregnant women! Not car accidents, not a specific pregnancy complication, but their very own partner. It impacts women from every country, all around the world. Several studies done by WHO show that several countries fall into an average of 1 in 4-6 women are being abused during pregnancy, and in general. Not only does domestic violence increase the risk of fetal and maternal death, but increases the rate of IUGR, preterm labor, hemorrhage, miscarriage and postpartum depression/anxiety. Pregnant women who experience domestic violence have a 37% higher chance of complications in pregnancy. These are women who have hospital births, home births, unassisted births, NOT JUST UNASSISTED BIRTHS.
Domestic violence is on no part the doulas fault, and the doula did what is in her scope to do as far as support, she supported the moms autonomy and choices and did not force her to do anything, nor give medical advice by diagnosing or attempting to prevent any specific complication, because that is NOT her role. Megan provided many resources to the mom to reach out, but unfortunately, many Christian families are falsely taught that you must obey your husband, which to some, means ANY and EVERY thing, which is so toxic. I have even witnessed in some churches that they chastise a mother for being a single mom due to leaving a toxic situation because divorce and disobedience is frowned upon in their church. I do not believe all Christians are this way, absolutely not, but it is something that needs to be more openly discussed.
It may even be that the husband demanded an unassisted birth, simply because he did not want to return to the hospital that he sent the mother to in her pregnancy and threatened the mother with HARM had she chosen to go to the hospital.
Bottom line, it is not classy to tear apart a fellow birth worker, especially applauding and referencing the same type of people for criticizing her, that we would otherwise never in a million years agree with.
If you are wondering as a birth worker, how to avoid finding yourself in this situation, you COULD avoid unassisted births, but then there are still women who are having unassisted births that need support, too. Simply, it is best to never use a syringe on baby, the parents can do that upon their own discretion. It is best for the parents to be just as, if not MORE, educated than yourself, as you are just the support. They should be thoroughly researched on unassisted birth and emergency situations and feel comfortable acting as the sole leader in those emergency situations, and not relying on you to do a single thing, because you are not a medical professional! If something seems off, call 911 right away, even before starting CPR, they will guide you through CPR if they feel the situation warrants it and under their guidance, you cannot do wrong because you are being instructed to follow their protocol.
We stand with Megan, because we know that she did her best under the unfortunate circumstances and her intentions were purely to help a family and help sweet Junia. It truly makes us wonder, where are the people investigating the hospital where people, including moms and new babies, die every day, despite being monitored heavily and in the care of medical professionals? Hmmm.. seems a little one sided doesn’t it?